First way to stop backbiting is to imagine the person in front of you might help you quit backbiting. The academics did, however, offer a more effective and lucrative method of tongue protection.
Backbiting Definition
“SubhanAllah as we come through these verses we come to the verses of Rahman the Servants of the most merciful and the qualities of the Servants of the most merciful may Allah make us amongst those that embody these qualities. I mean Allah there is one verse that I wanted to focus on because it’s one of those things that you ironically quickly move through when they come across Idol speech they pass through with dignity. SubhanAllah is very similar by the way to what we hear about at the beginning of the previous description of the Believers.
Those who prohibit idle speech don’t engage in idle speech and hear Allah describe they’re walking very peacefully on the earth not harming not accepting harm and not harming and someone comes to them aggressively. Ignorance here is in the meaning of anger in the meaning of aggressiveness. So when people are aggressive towards them directly they say Saddam they say we want no part of this they keep moving they keep it moving but it’s one thing when you are the recipient of it but when they come across Allahu when they come across false speech Idol speech they move with dignity.
What is Backbiting in islam?
Usually, this is going to be when the subject is someone other than you or someone else is being spoken about and most people will end up in Hell Fire because of their tongues. I pray that Ramadan is an opportunity for us inshallah to purify our tongues as much as possible. I mean to let this tongue be that which is pleasing to Allah and to say that which is pleasant to Allah, allowing us to train our tongues to speak in a way that would allow us to discover that words we speak in passing bring us into Jannah, yet words we speak in passing bring us to fire. Allah I mean so I wanted to talk about something very profound that I came across that elaborates a bit on this idea of actually being able to prohibit backbiting because there are stages there are levels and I want to start from this premise here. The believer thinks before they speak.
The hypocrite does not think before they speak. In fact, the number one distinguisher between the milkman and the munafir between a Believer and a hypocrite is that the believer’s tongue is filtered by their heart before they say anything. It’s behind their heart they consider whether or not this is appropriate and whether or not this will benefit them or harm them and then they speak through that whereas the hypocrite speaks first and then considers only if they find some sort of consequence in this life. So the very first basis here is shaytan hastiness is from the shaytan.
What are the simple Ways To Stop Backbiting?
If a person is very quick with their speech, they’re going to make a lot of mistakes. And if a person talks too much they’re going to make a lot of mistakes means the pace at which you speak something comes up and you say something very fast the prophet saw a person end up in the depths of Hellfire with a Kalima he didn’t even think about it when he said it. He said it so quickly so casually he just quickly said it or quickly typed it comments it. So if you’re accustomed Quick remark is something you’ll probably stumble onto.
And as if you’re accustomed to a lot of commentary if you talk too much you’re going to end up making too many mistakes and you’re going to end up talking too quickly or too much, you’re likely to get into trouble, so at the very least, here the believer has a process in which they consider what they’re going to say. If a person makes too many mistakes, then their sins will pile up, and if a person has too many sins, Hellfire becomes a more likely destination for them before they say it and especially when someone else’s name gets mentioned why because if it’s something sinful that you say that doesn’t involve someone else then the process of redemption the process of Toba at the end of the day comes back to only you and Allah but once someone else’s name was brought into it then the Of fact, there is a way to Toba, but the process is much more tough and complex because you now have someone to guide you through it else that is involved.
And so the believer especially takes precaution when someone else’s name is mentioned once someone else’s name is mentioned the believer puts another filter he was asked about how he because he was known and this is one of the signs of the Salah he was known that he wouldn’t say anything bad about anybody and by the way SubhanAllah if you look at the righteous and may Allah make us amongst them and you think about their secrets used to say that every righteous person has a secret usually the secret is that person does not backbite that person will not say anything bad about anybody else these are the secrets of the righteous people who meet Allah their tongues remain free he’s asked about this and he kind of unravels this a bit and he says well the first thing he said I don’t mention anybody else’s name or I hear no one mention other than to envision or think about the person seated in front of me.
Before I speak; that person is the first line of defense against backbiting in this situation has some cowardice to it doesn’t it it’s cowardly Reba is cowardly right that you say things about people when they’re not there and so the very first line The first thing to consider is if that person were sitting there with you, would you still be able to say the same thing about them if they were sitting at the table? He said, “Well, you know what, I would say it to their face and they would praise that as a quality.”
They’d call it straight forwardness and all it is is the straight shape on this that just means that you have absolutely no Haya you have no modesty no shame and the prophet saw if you have no shame do what you want so it just means you’re a Shameless person right that you would say I’d say it to their face I would disrespect and disgrace that person to their face that’s not how the slaughter has thought so the very first thing is no way if that person is sitting in front of me would I say that but he mentions three levels so that’s the first level is to imagine that person right in front of you Ramadan is a time for us to be conscious of the things that we frequently neglect to think.
Imagine that person is in the discussion, in the group, at the table, or wherever else as soon as their name is uttered. You have to put them in front of you before you say anything about them. He says he said some people said some of the early righteous once said that I don’t say anything about anyone except that I first imagined that person was sitting in front of me. So, I said about that person what I know that person would love to be said about them you mentioned some sayings from and by the way was a tough person right tough in the Good Sense.
He’s the one who distinguishes between truth and falsehood and usually people that backbite or people that are aggressive towards others they justify by saying this is my nature, I’m a person of the house, I have to tell the truth right how many times do you see after the prophet SAW one of the most narrated about companions in the top five of the narrated about companies trashing anyone behind their back in the name of truth, no but actually says that when your brother is mentioned call him only the names. That he loves to hear most about himself what are the nicknames? what are the names that person likes? and with the best of qualities that that person likes to hear about themselves.
Before you even say anything about them, first call them by their best. Call them by their best qualities before you say anything about them, and then say about them only what they would love to be said about them. I say about that person as if they’re sitting in the gathering, they’re in the group. What I know they would love to hear about themselves if they were present. There’s a third level, and this one really struck me. It’s a very powerful statement. He says these are such powerful words, and I hope I can deliver it because it’s hard to even just to really, I think immerse yourself in what these people are saying.
One group said that I do not, or if someone is mentioned in front of me, I don’t say anything except I imagine myself to be that person. And I don’t say except what I would love to be said about me, what I’d love to be said about me. This is the highest level of the exam. This is the highest level of excellence. No one of you believes, by the way he loves herself, that you actually even put yourself in that situation and say if I was the subject here, this is how I would love to be spoken about right now.
And then that’s what you say, because that makes the other person almost irrelevant to how you carry yourself and your relationship with Allah and your character and etiquettes. You want them to be at a level to where they are uninterferable, cannot be diminished by any other presence. It’s just you and Allah. So as soon as someone else is mentioned, I put myself in that place as if I’m the one being spoken about, and then at that time, I state what I would say about myself, love to be said about myself, what I would love to hear about myself.
Dear brothers and sisters, we’re living in a time where Haya is being lost in all ways. Right shamelessness in our social morality, shamelessness in dress, shamelessness in speech, shamelessness in the way we conduct our affairs, shamelessness in the message, shamelessness outside. There’s a lot of lack of shame, and this is one of the ways that the etiquettes of your brother or sister shall be taken into consideration. And you know what some of you are thinking? Well, look, I can’t think that long before I say something, right? You know, like I’m in a conversation, how much time am I going to take when a subject is brought up to sit there and think about it? Because you know, that burning feeling like something comes up on a WhatsApp group, if I don’t respond in the next 20 minutes, the whole world is going to fall apart, the community is going to die, what will happen if I don’t respond right now? You know what, calm down. I have to say something right now.
Slow down. Take a step back as much, and if you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all until you can think of something good to say. If it’s a subject that needs to be deliberated and something needs to be spoken about, then disconnect the person’s honor from that subject so much so that you would not be demeaning them in the slightest when you discuss the topic.
The person seated next to you is sacrosanct, and the person that’s sitting next to you right now is sacred. That person that’s not sitting next to you but that shares the Bond of Allah, even if you don’t even meet them, if you never meet them in your entire life, know that their honor is more sacred than considering that the person next to you, whom you may have just met, has that obligation toward you in the direction of the Kaaba and our Qibla.
Three levels:
- Number one, first and foremost, imagine that person sitting with you. Would you still say it?
- Number two, imagine that person sitting and what they would like to hear if they were sitting there.
- Number three, and this is the best method, this is the people, may Allah make us amongst them, the people of Excellence.
Imagine if you were speaking about the topic at hand, what would you most like to hear? Let that inform your discourse, and may Allah purify our voice, sight, hearing, and more than anything else, our hearts. Allah.